This whole blogging once a week thing really just epically failing. As a writer you would think that it would be second nature for me to want to sit down and write about my feelings or what I did today or whatever but that's never been something I was good at. I've always really liked the idea of of keeping a diary - I've got several from my teenage years to prove it - but they always just sat on my shelves looking cute with two up to like fifteen entries in each of them.

I had my MRI today so in a few days (or two weeks - that parts unclear to me) I should find out if I'm dying. Which is good, I suppose. I spent 200 dollars down to have the MRI and I'll owe more when my insurance bills me so it's not that I want something to be wrong with me but they also better come back with a reason for the headaches and the weird pressure I get or I'll be out a couple hundred dollars and pissed. Not that I've got my fingers crossed for brain cancer or anything...this is coming out oddly. Moving on.

I sometimes feel like I don't process emotions the right way, like I don't realize I'm feeling a certain way until whatever feeling I'm repressing just can no longer be repressed and comes bursting forward. I don't realize I'm annoyed with someone until their habit is just too unbearable (this is in regards to people close to me - the people that I don't know annoy me on a daily basis). Or just this whole MRI possible head issues I have a friend who's super worried about it (I know everyone's a bit worried about it) but this friend in particularly is being really sweet and concerned but it kind of makes me take a step back and say, um, should I be more worried? It is my brain after all. Oddly I'm really not - what's the point in worrying about it now anyway I have to wait for the doctor to call to set up my results appointment.

Not much else to say really, sad to see my three day weekend and head back to work tomorrow though :(

So I started this blog with good intentions a year ago. You know to blog get my positive thoughts out and just use it as an avenue to say what I needed to say. Then, to be honest, I really think I completely forgot about my idea of keeping a blog. Oops.

A lot has change in the last year. My eight posts are all about living with my sister and how I never thought I would be able to live not with family. That's the biggest change in the last year I guess, I no longer live with my sister and brother and law. That's such a yay thing I just don't really have a way to fully explain it. I'm living with one of my oldest friends and it's working out really well.

I control a lot of aspects of my life right now. I know that sounds really, really strange. It's not like I had someone pulling puppet strings for my life before. I didn't, I've always been a fairly independent person . I started off this year make twelve steps to a better me and spent a lot of time focusing on aspects of myself that I want to improve and I think that is making me a bit of a control freak....

For example: my health. Here are a list of things that I've month by month (with a bunch thrown in this month) cut completely out of my life: fried foods, fast food, diet coke, pork, high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweetener of any kind. I light exercise thirty minutes a day and start every morning with a healthy breakfast (no donuts and poptarts here). The epitome of health right? We'll see.

I'm wondering though if I'm becoming a bit of a control freak. I've always been a bit of one, I like to do things my way. This is a fairly pointless blog. Oh well, what can I say? My life is fairly drama free and boring these days. Am going to try and end these blogs on a positive note so let's see if I can think of something good to end this with.

I've got it (it took a couple moments pause but maybe blogging and keeping these things saved up for when I blog will help me notice things more.) I'm reading Water for Elephants and then I'm lending it to my mom to read so that we can do see the movie. I know that sounds a bit odd thing to be excited about, it's fairly common thing but it's not for me and my mom. We have very little common ground, she's a lot closer with my sister, so I'm excited for us to read the book and see the movie and discuss like I do with so many of my friends.